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The Long Road Home

In June I flew from Southeast Asia to USA with my two children.

On August 10th, it was time to go back.

So, with a stroller, a rolling suitcase, a backpack, a purse, and an EveryWear carrier as my carry-on luggage, and five humongous checked bags, we were dropped of at the airport by my mother and mother-in-law.

They entertained the kids and walked around and kept them fed while I was busy at the check-in counter.

We arrived at about 9am and our flight was to leave at 11:00.

I ended up standing at the ticket counter for over an hour while the poor clerk navigated an endless labyrinth of phone calls because 1) I hadn’t been given my boarding passes and 2) Deeds’s infant tickets hadn’t been noted on the flights.

I thought that Deeds being left off of the tickets was strange because this was the second half of a round-trip journey. He had obviously been with me when I started the trip, why would he be left off of the second half?

The lady was really apologetic and I wasn’t mad at her but it still took a really LONG time. At one point I had to excuse myself to go to the restroom.

BUT on the bright side, all of our bags got checked all the way to Laos, and I didn’t have to pay ANY fees. Yay!

After that whole *thing*, we pretty much had to get right in line to go through security. Both of the grandmothers cried which made Jojo cry as we slowly wound through the maze of ropes for our turn through the metal detector.

A Polish granny was behind us in line and offered to help by pulling my rolling suitcase.

Jojo was absolutely bawling.

Once we got through security and I put everyone’s shoes back on and Deeds was strapped back on my back and Jojo was back in the stroller (which I had to fold up and put through the x-ray machine), Polish granny and I made our way to our gate (we were both going to Atlanta) and it was already final call for boarding.

I walked right on the plane with Polish granny behind me but she was sadly informed that her flight was the NEXT flight to Atlanta. But she was a big help in getting me to the plane.

After all the rush, we got to sit on the tarmac for 30 minutes AFTER our departure time, because the landing strips in Atlanta were overbooked or something.

When our short flight was over we landed in terminal “A” of the ATL airport. We walked about 15 gates, down an elevator, took the underground train to terminal E, then up the elevator, then to our gate.

Our gate was empty…because it was again FINAL CALL! HOLY COW!

Even though I was the only only person at the counter, somehow it still took several minutes of waiting, during which Deeds ran to a water fountain, then later INTO an elevator! I caught him just in time.

For some reason the Asian male ticketing agent made the keen observation, “I see their father isn’t Asian…”

Yes, yes my children are white and I am married to a white guy. I am also white. I hope I can still fly to Japan.

When we board the plane, Jojo and Deeds walk WAAAY back to row 61 while I struggle with my luggage toward our actual seats in row 39. I abandon my bags in the galley to go fetch Deeds.

Back at row 39 a man helps me put my rolling suitcase in the overhead bin.

Our seat mate is a friendly Vietnamese man who talks with Deeds and plays tug-o-war with a pillow.

The Atlanta to Tokyo flight is about 14 hours long.

Before take-off, Jojo has to go to the bathroom. We all 3 go together and I snap our first Laviator photo.

I change D’s diaper. On the way back from the bathroom I notice a row of 3 seats unoccupied and ask the flight attendant if we can move there. She says yes!

So now I can corral them against the wall in our little private row. The row just before the bathroom, so we can also lean back our sets without smooshing someone else’s legs!

Jojo falls asleep during take off. Deeds and I nurse, eat peanuts, and finally he spills my ginger ale on his blanky.

At last I nurse him to sleep at about 3pm, just as the meal is being served.

When I booked the tickets I requested a vegetarian meal and a kids meal. My vegetarian meal made the cut but the kids meal is no where to be found. *sigh*.

I eat some of the whatever-it-is and wash it down with some Japanese style green tea.

Jojo wakes up and asks for food (of course he does…). The flight attendant brings him cocktail shrimp, a roll, a brownie, cheese, beef, and steamed carrots. She even gives him milk in the empty sippy cup I brought.

Jojo ate the shrimp and roll and part of the brownie, then complains about being cold. I was cold too!

The airplane is freeezing! But of course I didn’t bring any jackets because last time we were hot the whole journey.

Jojo gets down on the floor to stretch out, which is technically against the rules. He drops his sippy cup on the floor and then asks for a napkin. I really don’t want to know so I don’t look.

Then he whines about his pillow being wet.

*end scene, 3:45 pm*

After the meal it is “lights out” time. We don’t have personal movie screens on this 14 or 15 hour leg of the journey so some people watch the in-flight movie and others sleep.

The second movie is Monsters vs. Aliens, and Jojo switches to the aisle seat so that he can crane his neck and watch it.

During this time and impish male flight attendant comes back and asks, with twinkle in his eye, “Would they like some ICE CREAM?”

Hecks yes!

Later, still another male flight attendant returns with the bounty. Two ice cream sundaes and a yogurt parfait for me!

I gobble mine up and help Deeds eat  some of his. I’m so so grateful and I have no idea why we were treated. Maybe the flight attendants collectively felt badly about our meals not being correct (even though I showed no anger and outright stated that I knew it wasn’t their faults when they apologized).

Also during this time, Jojo insists about 6 times that he needs to “throw up”.

I am totally annoyed with him because in this scenario he WHINES that he needs to throw up. I tell him to go to the bathroom.

He WHINES that I have to come with him. So, Jojo, Deeds and I all cram into the bathroom, where he sits on the toilet and spits into an airsick bag for 8 minutes.

Then he WHINES that I OPEN THE DOOR and LET ME OUT!

As if it was my idea to spend 8 minutes in the airplane bathroom with three people.

The scene repeats itself again and again.

Finally I insist that he go to sleep. It is around 9:30 pm before both boys fall asleep. Normally bed time is 8pm.

The rest of the flight is a blur, more of the same.

Things that entertained Jojo (age 4 years and 10 months): a sticker book/activity book (I think it was called “play and learn” or something), the Leapfrog Tag reader with headphones, action figures (we brought Darth Vader and some Lego people),  a battery powered toothbrush (my mom got one for each boy and they were a big hit), snacks (especially dry cereal, crackers, goldfish, animal cookies), the second in-flight movie, Lego Club magazine, and the Modeling Beeswax 12 Piece Set I bought on Amazon.

The Beeswax was new territory for us. I bought a 12 piece set and took about 4 pieces on the plane in a plastic bag. I like the modeling wax because it kept Jojo’s attention longer than play dough. The reason is that in order to mold it, you have to hold it in your hands to make it warm and pliable. And it smells good. And it isn’t as messy. Even Deeds enjoyed playing with little balls I made for him out of the beeswax.

Things that I brought for Jojo that he didn’t show much interest in: the brand new Leapfrog Leapster I just bought (a handheld video game system for preschoolers), the silver foil engraving set I gave to him as a wrapped present (you scratch black wax off of silver foil with a blunt instrument to make a design). I also brought a colored pencil set, crayons, and play dough that I never ended up taking of the bag.

Things that entertained Deeds (age 23 months and 3 weeks): dry cereal in a Boon snack ball, the battery powered toothbrush, a wind-up octopus I got at Hobby Lobby for 33 cents, some one-dimensional wooden cut outs of people and lions, also from Hobby Lobby for 66 cents, a travel-sized Magnadoodle, the sink in the airplane bathroom, drinking and spilling beverages in cups, The Wheels on The Bus Little Golden Book, balls of beeswax, crawling on the armrest, buttons around our seats (the light button, the call button, the volume button, the recline button), the window shade.

Things that I brought for Deeds that didn’t interest him: a small stuffed bear, wrapped toy cars (which was strange because he LOVES cars), other books besides The Wheels on the Bus (apparently a new favorite).

Things I did wrong on this flight: I stupidly only put 3 diapers in my purse and the rest of the stash was in the rolling suitcase, which was difficult to access in the overhead bin. I also brought way too much junk food/sweets and not enough savory/healthful food.

I had tons of clothes for the kids to change into, and all of those were in the overhead bin as well. I should have kept a couple of items more accessible for times when Deeds spilled drinks on his clothing.

When we landed in Tokyo, we got our gate-checked stroller and went on an elevator to get to the transit screening or whatever they call the security that transit passengers have to pass through for some reason.

With Deedsy strapped to my back on the EveryWear carrier, I wore a backpack on my stomach, pulled the rolling suitcase with my left hand and steered the stroller with my right hand and my stomach.

We found  a lovely family bathroom where we all used the toilet, Deeds had a diaper change, then we all brushed teeth and I changed the boys into fresh clothing.

We passed a drinking fountain on the way to our gate, so after we got settled I asked Jojo if he wanted me to go back and fill his cup with water. Deeds and I went and fetched the water while Jojo stayed with our luggage at the gate, eating animal crackers.

The Tokyo to Bangkok flight is around 6 or 7 hours long.

When we boarded our seats were in the middle of the plane on the second row in our section. I guess it was the second batch of economy class seats. I noticed that the first four rows were completely full, yet no other rows on the whole rest of the plane was full.

So I got up and asked the flight attendant if she could let me know if there are seats free, since I was flying with a lap baby and hence had 5 passengers on my row with 4 seats. She said yes and before we prepaired for take off she directed me to a row with THREE empty seats so that we each had a seat to ourselves. Yay!

Even better, THESE seats had personal video screens with movies on demand and a few games, like my fave, mahjong. There weren’t lots of kid-friendly movie options but I found one or two things for Jojo to watch.

I watched Mad Men (the TV show), Thirty Rock, and played mahjong during a time while Deeds slept a bit.

This flight was pretty uneventful. Both children slept a bit. When Deeds woke up he was a little squirrley and wanted to climb everywhere and play peek-a-boo over the seat back. I restrained him as effectively and quietly as I could. But some people were kind of encouraging him with their mischievous glances.

When we landed in Bangkok it was about 12 midnight local time, or noon EST. We had been traveling for 25 hours.

We had a 12 hour layover in the Bangkok airport so I rented a dayroom at the Louis Tavern, located IN the airport. I schlepped our load to the dayrooms and checked in. Then we stretched out and took showers. I actually got the boys to sleep I think around 1 am and we all slept for about 4 hours. I would have liked to sleep more but the boys had other ideas.

So, at around 6 or 7am we left our luggage in the room and took a walk to the check in counter to get our boarding passes for the Bangkok to Vientiane flight.

I made Jojo walk (I left the stroller in the room) and wore Deeds on my back in the EveryWear carrier.

Check-in went smoothly, then I exchanged $20 US dollars into Thai baht so that we could buy breakfast. I got Burger King chicken tenders for the boys, plus onion rings and hash browns, and a nice large Chai latte from some British coffee chain.

We took our deliciousness back to the dayroom, ate up, washed up, then watched Animal Planet in Thai until about 10:30 when it was time to check OUT of our room and get ready to board our flight.

The gate for boarding our flight to Laos HAD to be THE last gate in the whole airport. I walked and walked and walked and finally found D1A.

I was so happy to see tons of Lao people, “my” people. As you can see in the picture, Deeds was befriended by a young twenty-something man who doted on him and watched airplanes and trucks together with him out of the terminal window.

Another young lady talked to me freely and even helped carry my rolling suitcase when it was time to board.

In the minutes before boarding time, Jojo fell asleep in the stroller. (I mean he HAD been awake since 4 am and it was now about 11 am. I was feeling it myself, too).

I carefully maneuvered the stroller down an escalator and out the door and onto the shuttle bus and OFF of the shuttle bus and to the steps of the airplane where I finally had to wake him and gate-check the stroller.

As I started to fold up the stroller he cried, “I want my Darth Vader!”

Sadly we searched the stroller in vain, concluding that Darth Vader had fallen out of the stroller somewhere in that obstacle course I just described. I hate that we lost Jojo’s most favorite toy at the very last minute and the worst possible time.

We were so close to the end! So, losing Darth was traumatic and after a meltdown I had the idea to let Jojo watch a Curious George cartoon on my iPod. That helped him calm down and he was occupied for the good portion of the hour and 30 minute flight to Laos.

Deeds fell asleep, and when the plane landed I had to wake him to get him back in the baby carrier so I could get all of our things.

He started to cry. He cried and cried. He cried as we were waiting to deplane. He cried in the line to get our Visas.

I was surprised and delighted when we were called from the back of the line to the very front! I guess they had pity on us/wanted to get the crying baby out of the room.

THEN after giving me the speedy visa, they hand carried our passports to a special short line to go through immigration! Woohoo!

We finally got to the baggage claim, and I just ended up letting some airport workers load up all of my luggage and push it out to the van of my waiting friend.

Normally I do that kind of thing myself, but I was SO tired and had SO much luggage and SO much other stuff to deal with regarding my two boys at the end of their ropes, I just decided that this time, it is worth the $3 in tips to save myself the trouble.

So we made it to Laos. But the fun doesn’t end there. After I went to bed at around 6pm, I woke the following morning to find that my legs now looked like this:

Extra sexy. I think I probably had an allergic reaction to a sulpha drug I had been taking for 6 days. But all the same I went to the French Clinic in the evening to get checked out.

The doctor seems to delight in treating me like a moron. He said it WASN’T an allergy but a VIRUS. Then he called in his other doctor friend who said, no, no, it looks like an allergy. SO they disagreed.

“Eee-thuh way,” said Dr. Frenchman, “Zee med-ee-sin iz zee sehm.”

So he gave me an antihistamine.

I asked for something topical to relieve the itching/discomfort.

He sneered. “Ayre yew go-wing tue poot zome-ting on yhor ole boe-dee?” Me: “Yes?”

French doctor: “No!”

Well then.

Now it has been a three days post-medicine and it looks a bit better, and feels a LOT better.

I just need to get caught up on sleep.

Relive the glory days of our epic flights gone by:

Journey of Epic Proportions

Surviving A Long Plane Trip With Children

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