Recently I flew from East Coast, USA, to LA, California and on to Southeast Asia. It required 4 flights, the longest of which was about 16 hours. I have done this several times over the years, and I’m always being asked, “How do you do it?”. This time, I took notes. So, in case you need to know, this is how you do it:

JULY 13, 2008

11 A.M.: Leave house, arrive at airport, unload and realize we forgot the Ergo Baby Carrier with the Parents of Invention Mei Tai stuffed in the front pocket; these are needed for sprinting through airports. Mother-in-law drives back to house to get carriers while we check in.

Check-In takes about 30 minutes; grandparents take the boys to the food court while we deal. During luggage screening we have two items that appear as contraband and require a luggage search. The offending items are a book (The Guitar Chord Bible) and a game (Mexican train dominoes).

12:00: Eat lunch with the family: junky fast food for all!

Baby Deeds toddles around the airport and injures his nose by banging it into a concrete window sill. It bleeds.

1:30 PM: Tearful goodbye to grandparents and we pass through the metal detectors without setting off any alarms.

2:00 PM: Announcement that our flight is delayed due to “high winds in Chicago”. Nick said that he heard the airport staff talking, wondering what to say about the delay, and they made up the “high winds” thing.

2:05 PM: See another mom start to nurse. I’m trying to hold off so that Deeds will sleep on the flight. Jojo is running around at a neighboring empty gate. I try to encourage him to do some jumping and other rambunctious behaviors.

Note that this is a small plane. We will have to go down some steps outside in order to board.

2:10 PM: Some jerk passenger gets the weather report on his cell phone and challenges the staff saying that conditions are “Sunny and 78 degrees” in Chicago. Airport lady says that there are “wind shears”. Nobody knows what that means.

2:25 PM: board plane

2:30 PM: Nurse Deeds. He falls asleep. Tell Jojo to stop playing with Deeds’s Polliwalks. Come to my senses and take one off for Jojo to play with.

2:50 PM: Take away Jojo’s playmobile because he persists in banging them noisily on the armrest.

3:00 PM: Jojo asleep.

3:10 PM: We are still on the runway. The plane has not taken off yet. Jojo wakes briefly and says his neck hurts, then goes back to sleep.

3:15 PM: TAKE OFF!!!

4:00 PM: Deeds awake. Beverage cart arrives and Deeds has apple juice (diluted).

4:05 PM: Man this plane smells really bad. I can’t tell if it is a passenger or a bathroom malfunction.

4:08 PM: Jojo wakes, has apple juice (from the plane) and Parmesan goldfish crackers (from my stash).

4:40 PM: Jojo starts to watch video on Nick’s computer. Deeds eats some graham crackers (from my stash). I do a stand-up diaper change on D., putting wet diaper in an airsick bag.

4:46 PM: fasten seat belts for landing.

We arrive one hour late to Chicago and rush to our connecting flight. Nick has Jojo in a stroller, Deacon in the Ergo on his front, backpack on his back. I have 2 wheeled suitcases, backpack, and a large purse.
Nick gets McD’s for he and Jojo, an apple and a banana for Deeds.
While we wait for Nick to get back to the gate with the food, Jojo asks for his Ellie Bellie Kids mini-messenger bag. When I give it to him, he puts on one BabyLeg and sits down to color.

When Nick gets back, it’s my turn to hunt for my dinner. Starbucks rips me off: $8.25 for a cold veggie sandwich wrapped in plastic. I pony up for an iced latte as well. Thanks for nothing, Starbucks.

Scarf down food, take Jojo to the bathroom and wash hands. When we return, boarding has started. A stranger helps me by carrying the stroller down the gangplank.

The flight attendant helps me to install the CARES harness quickly and easily.

Jojo is cranky and whiny. After we are seated I give him a present: a wrapped Little Einstein book that has a fancy rocket-shaped magnifying glass tied to it.
After we read the book, I show him the TRAYble cloth. We play with it until take off.

7:08 PM: Take off. Jojo is sad to put the tray table in the upright position.

7:16 PM: Deeds looks glazed. He is wearing his Baby B’Air Flight Vest. It is close to his normal bed time. Jojo gets on the floor to look for the O-ball he dropped.

7:20 PM: Jojo does Color Wonder finger paint – I stashed a sample pack of it in his Ellie Bellie bag and he just discovered it.

7:31 PM: Score! The Office is on the overhead TV screen! I plug in some headphones. Jojo is finished with the Color Wonder. I give him his Peek-A-Boo Bag.

7:45 PM: Jojo wants my headphones. I buy him off with playdough.

8:00 PM: The Office is over. Pretzels and beverages arrive. I have tea, Jojo has milk, D. has ice. He loves ice.

8:05 PM: I can’t get Jojo interested in the sewing cards I brought. Instead we play with 4 pipe cleaners for 10 minutes.

8:20 PM: Deeds has a poo diaper. Nick changes him in the itty bitty airplane bathroom.

8:25 PM: finally a flight attendant comes to take our trash we have accumulated (it is a lot).

8:45 PM: Deeds is asleep. Jojo tries to lay down but can’t get comfy. Eats 1/2 a banana and reads the Einstein book.

9 PM: I eat most of a bag of Peeled Snacks (Shock-o-late: yum!). I save one pear for when Deeds wakes up. I’m watching a movie on the airplane screen: Be Kind Rewind.

9:50 PM: Deeds wakes briefly. I nurse him to sleep.

New movie starts: Nim’s Island. Deeds and Jojo are both asleep.

10:30 PM: My pen loses ink! I open my bag w/ Deeds asleep in my lap.

10:50 PM: Start our descent: we have to wake up both boys to buckle their seat belts. Both of them start crying. Jojo cries for a long time.

11 PM: Touch down in LAX. Local time, 9 pm.

11:30 PM: Speed walk for 20 minutes to the other side of the airport for International check-in. Jojo is only half-conscious in the stroller. There is no line at the Thai Airways check-in counter. I love Thai Airways. I hope we have time to go get food.

12 midnight: Woohoo! Grab some food in the International food court; sushi for me, Mexican for Nick. D. eats a tortilla. Jojo eats a lollipop.

We walk to the metal detectors and are fortuitously waved through to a shorter line for people in wheelchairs because of our stroller. No waiting!

Find gate, dress kids in sleeping clothes. Jojo and I visit the bathroom, brush our teeth. I take out my contacts and wash my face. We reorganize the carry on bags so that the essential items are most accessable.

1:30 AM: Families with children are called to board. We are alone on the plane for a really long time.

2:10 AM: Still alone on the plane, enjoying our personal video screens that are standard in Economy class on Thai Airways International overseas flights. Woohoo! Jojo is watching Powerpuff girls, I’m watching a Thai movie called The Tin Mine, Nick is playing a video game, and Deeds is sleeping in his Downtime Sleepy hat.

2:30 AM: Flight attendant brings Cup-O-Noodles and orange juice.

3:05 AM: Still here. Take a walk around the plane. Notice toilet in hallway. That explains the delay.

3:40 AM: Jojo has a meltdown. Nick forces him to turn off the TV and go to sleep.

4 AM: WHEN WILL THIS PLANE LEAVE THE RUNWAY????

4:30 AM: Other passengers begin boarding. I’m praying that the seat in between the 3 we actually paid for is empty, so that the boys can stretch out during the flight.

5 AM: prepare for take off. Estimated flight duration: 16 hours 15 minutes. Seat remained empty. YAY!

5:25 AM: We have lift off!

5:50 AM: Deeds wakes up.

About 6 AM: Meal arrives. Deeds has baby food (in the BOON spoon) and crackers.

About 7:30 AM: Deeds goes back to sleep. I watch The Office and Dan in Real Life.

10 AM: Jojo wakes. We order his meal.

10:20 AM: Deeds wakes. We walk 1 lap around the plane, go wash his BOON spoon.

11:05 AM: Nick takes over with Deeds. We have officially been traveling for 24 hours so far. I haven’t slept in 26 hours.

11:10 AM: Jojo opens a gift from Andy (one of his friends at school who has done his share of traveling). Jojo decides to eat some Oreo’s (from the airplane). Deeds eats Cheerios (from my stash) and the spaghetti that Jojo didn’t want from his airline meal.

12:50 PM: D goes back to sleep after fighting it a bit.

1:10 PM: Jojo lays down. The second meal should be soon…

2:00 PM: Give gifts to the boys: new books I wrapped up. “Breakfast” arrives: Deeds has a roll, yogurt and broccoli. Jojo has a roll and some juice.

After the meal, Nick sets up some Connectables in hopes of entertaining and corralling the boys.

3:30 PM: Cabin lights are out so people can rest. Nick and I take turns going to the toilet. There are toothbrushes in there now. Bonus!

Our seats are cluttered with snacks, bags, and books.

A flight attendant gives Jojo a puzzle and Deeds some kind of chew toy, curtosey of Thai Airways.

5:45 PM: Jojo has been asleep for a little while. I have now gone 34 hours with no sleep.

6 PM: Jojo is still asleep. I try to tidy up our belongings. I feel happy that we only have 3 hours and 25 more minutes until Bangkok.

6:30 PM: Feed Deeds tons of Gerber Yogurt Melts and water. Notice teenage boys in front of us have a mother flying in First Class! I try to decide if that is totally awesome or totally icy.

7:40 PM: SO CLOSE to being done with this mammoth flight! I’m hungry.

8:40 PM, July 14th: Have a really good meal (especially for airline food!) cheese tortellini! I’m feeling good! Only 47 minutes until we land in BKK.

We arrive in BKK and wait a long time for our stroller to arrive at the gate. No rush now: we only have one more flight to catch and plenty of time to make it.

about 10:30 PM: I change the kid’s clothes just for fun. They are very high energy and are playing peek-a-boo and running around the mostly-empty gate. I tell Nick to get Jojo some milk, but we find out that food isn’t allowed near the gate. Nick takes him up to some kind of newsstand and tries to make him drink and unfamiliar brand of soy milk. *tsk*.

11:30 PM: Board flight to Laos. I’m consciously aware of being sleep deprived, but other than sore eyes, I can’t tell much difference in my cognitive and physical functioning. I’m just ready to relax and ease up on holding the mommy leash. I’m tired of keeping the kids quiet and contained so as not to disturb others or cause bodily injury.

12:40 AM: Jojo is being so annoying, loud, disobedient. I’m embarrassed but I also know it has been a long long journey for him.
I fill out VISA stuff for the whole family. It takes me about 45 minutes.

When we land I strategically sprint ahead of the family while Nick wrangles the kids. I want to get a good spot in line for buying or VISAs to enter the country.

We collect our baggage (3 duffle bags, 4 foot lockers, 2 rolling suitcases, 2 back packs) and pass through customs. A friend is waiting for us at the airport. Our friend, Maurice, drives Deeds and I to the house while Nick and Jojo ride in a hired truck with the luggage.

I glance at my watch: time I can finally relax: 2:15 AM, July 16th. About 43 hours with no sleep! I finally go to bed around 4:30 AM home time/ 4:30 PM Laos time.

WE DID IT!