Jojo: Trouble At School
Jojo is a very enthusiastic, high-energy 5-year-old.
Currently he loves Lego, Indiana Jones, insects, and the idea of creating his own language and civilization.
That last interest came from his admiration and enjoyment of a picture book called Weslandia, in which a social-outcast boy named Wes creates his own society as a summer project.
Because of his enthusiasm, Jojo is a natural leader. Other kids just WANT to do what he is doing, because he makes it look so awesome.
Yesterday, during recess, Jojo found a broken ink pen on the playground. He managed to get the ink to come out all over his hands, which he then used to decorate playground equipment and an outside wall of the school.
Three other kids joined in and it was actually amazing how much area they were able to cover with the contents of a single pen.
They got in big trouble.
Jojo was embarrassed and sad. The other kids that joined in cast blame on Jojo for “making” them take part.
Jojo drew this picture of the incident (he is the one with clothes on), and even signed his name all over the picture to represent where he personally made ink marks.
Next he wrote about his own feelings in code.
And wrote about the feelings of the cleaning staff in English.
I feel so sorry for him. Not only did he get to experience what it is like for “friends” to throw you under the bus, I feel like he probably really thought he was doing something constructive, like in Weslandia, and it blew up in his face and became a big hairy deal.
School people were really upset since it involved damage to school property.
I worry about him because he is bright and energetic, but also sensitive.
He has figured out how to read (without having been taught), where other kids in his class are still saying things like, “I need go poo poo” and have no phonemic awareness.
I worry that his intense behavior is overshadowing his intelligence.
I worry that he won’t get what he needs. I worry that his effervescent spirit will be crushed.
Not that I don’t ever scold him (just today I told him off for peeing in the dust pan. Granted, he was outside but still, gross!), I just worry that he isn’t in the best possible setting for his cognitive, physical, and emotional development.
Maybe he needs more.
And I don’t know what I can do about it. Since my husband and I both work at this school, I feel like we are stuck.
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19 March 2010, 12:16 pm
My heart was wrenching (is that a word?) as I read this. I see Jojo as a really creative, highly intelligent boy (even though I only know him through you and the blog) and I feel bad for him in this situation. As a parent who hates when my son destroys my property, I still see that when things like this happen, it’s usually in a creative manner rather than a malicious one. Soren is like that a lot, and I feel that it’s more my problem when I get upset about him wrecking my stuff when he’s exploring something. Though I also don’t want to be one of “those” parents who are like, “oh well, let Jonny pull down the cabinets, he’s pretending to rock climb!”
Anyway, I feel bad that your stuck with him staying in the school due to both of your jobs there. I don’t mean to sound patronizing, but this will be a good learning experience for Jojo and will make him stronger as a result.
19 March 2010, 2:46 pm
Oh, poor Jojo! How awful for kids to be blaming him for it all, too! I actually think, even as a teacher, I would have been more inclined to laugh than yell. Sure, it’s annoying when things get ruined but it’s never the end of the world. Crushing a little boy’s spirits is INFINITELY worse (especially if he’s being turned into an example in front of others) than having ink on a wall.
It is good that he has you and you recognize all of his potential. I honestly believe that more of a kid’s well-being (and self-esteem) has to do with how he is taught/loved/understood at home than anything else. Even with not-so-great things happening at school at least he comes home to a wonderful mom and dad. Parents are the best teachers and I’m sure you are doing a great job with him. xoxo
19 March 2010, 10:48 pm
I’m so sorry Candice and those drawings he made are heart-breaking. Jojo sounds like an amazing boy and you’re right - the fear of having his spirits crushed is very scary and sad - I feel the same way about my Madison (4 y.o.). He is an intelligent boy, talk to him. Ask the teacher/principal if you can have a meeting with them and show them his drawings (but include Jojo in the meeting) and just clear the air. It was a little ink on playground equipment, he’s FIVE - the school should understand he’s imaginative, playful, excited, and a leader - I’m really surprised they’re so upset about it.
I’m sorry you’re stuck in this situation - that really stinks. If it were me, my initial protective instinct is to pull Madison out and put her in another school - no one should treat my daughter that way, ink stain or not. BUT - as an adult, I have to try to set an example for her, and all I can do is show her how to face this and talk it through. I’m sure it will blow over soon, in the interim - continue to do what you’re doing, mama - you’re doing an awesome job. Don’t let this minor incident set you back any. Jojo (& Deeds) is amazing because of you! There’s no changing that.
Hope Jojo is ok and hopefully, after talking through it a few times, he’ll feel better and understand…even though it was wrong to put ink on their equipment - I’m sure he knows now it was wrong and I hope the school’s not drilling it into him even more - ask if he would like to write an apology note/card to the teacher/principal or a thank you note to the cleaning staff so he can see it full circle?
{{HUGS}}
19 March 2010, 11:06 pm
I think Roo and JoJo are quite alike and Deaky and Jasper, too. The older ones are intense and have intricate plans that must be followed to the letter while the little ones are more about the moment. I worry about Roo and her sensitivity, too. I think that acknowledging it at an early age is a smart thing to do.
20 March 2010, 8:36 am
His impulsiveness is really what is getting him in trouble. But luckily that is something you can work on at home while encouraging his creative side. Encourage him to think through projects b4 he starts. Legos- what is he going to make? How big is it going to be? Does he have enough blocks for that? Where should he build it? Is it going to be in anyones way? Does it need to be somewhere Deeds can’t reach it? Do you need to put something under it so we can move it? Then you can work on how to change his mind during a project but still stop and think it through.
At 5yrs planning ahead is a new concept they first have to understand consequences (which jojo does), then they must learn to sort through different scenarios to find the consequence they want. You just want him to stop and think before he does things
Good luck
20 March 2010, 8:53 am
That’s a tough call. Feeling like you’re stuck is never a good feeling. I’m certain that “all things work together for the good” and JoJo will be A-OK. You guys are excellent parents, encouraging curiosity, creativity, caring and fun all at the same time. This experience is all part of the growing up process. Keep on keeping on!
20 March 2010, 1:56 pm
What a tough situation! Hopefully things will work out and JoJo’s creativity and intelligence will shine through will be acknowledged and his needs will be met somehow…
btw–peeing in the dustpan? LOL! the things kids do…
20 March 2010, 3:39 pm
You know what I was thinking while reading this post. I was thinking the whole time… Wait this boy is only 5? He can clearly read and write well. My daughter is 5 and just learned how to spell her name. JoJo is clearly gifted. That being said, you know what I think? I think he is just a normal kid, doing normal things. There are leaders and followers in this world, and JoJo just happens to be a natural born leader (great news there). If you heard half the things that my children have done, you would totally laugh at what JoJo has done. That’s just part of being a child. Not that I condone defacing school property, but it was certainly a great learning experience, don’t you think. I mean he learned that people get mad when you don’t treat their property right. Friends don’t always have your best interest at heart, and there are rules that everyone has to follow. Peeing in the dust pan, well be thankful it wasn’t #2 in your husband’s muck boots. LOL yeah, I been there.
20 March 2010, 10:42 pm
Mixed thoughts as I read your blog. You fear the school may crush his spirit. I found myself thinking: what school would allow and encourage indelible ink spread throughout the campus? Would a restaurant or library allow him to creatively draw on the walls? Not even at loving Gramma’s house are children usually allowed to write and draw on the walls. Is he free to draw on the walls at home? None of these places lack affection or outlets for creativity. Writing on walls is just one of those things we don’t do. Aren’t these kinds of life lessons part of what we want schools to teach our children? As long as the reaction was relevant and kind, what other reaction would one expect of the school? Would we really expect the school to say, “Good job expressing yourself in indelible ink”. ?
Since this was an incident that happened during recess, how does it relate to your overall view that the school is not the place for him? This was free, unstructured time outside. How is the school program or staff lacking in this case? Perhaps consider not ‘throwing out the baby with the bathwater’. The event happened at school but of his own will and during his own time. How does that make the school less than sufficient?
As a parent myself, I can relate to your concern for your child’s well-being. I am guessing that he is your oldest or only child? It’s difficult and often painful to grow with the eldest through the many phases of childhood. Our natural instinct is to want to protect our kids from pain and discomfort. Unfortunately life is not fair and often the most beneficial lessons are learned through hard times. I have three children between the ages of one to thirteen years old. As you go through life with your child(ren) you will notice a beautiful resilience growing within themselves and within you as a parent. Like tall pines, they sway and bend in the breeze. They don’t break. Keep loving him and he will be fine. The history of humanity demonstrates thousands of leaders who survived in the face of abuse, hunger, poverty, child labor, illiteracy. Jo-jo will not be crushed by school and frenemies. This may sound trite but actually the big-picture perspective is a very helpful one to keep as a parent.
On an end note, unless you are planning to leave the school anyway, is a public blog really the place you want to share your doubts about the school that is currently the mainstay for all three of you? If I were part of the school, I would be inclined to take offense at your public lack of loyalty to the common institution.